REALITY BITES!

I guess each and everyone on this earth has a best friend or even best friends. I was a person who believed in the theory of best friends. And I believed in the divinity of such relations. I got my first of that kind while I was in my 4th standard. Her name is Sneha. She is still one of my closest. Even after I went to RAK we still had contact. We used to write letters every now and then. I have preserved every one of those. I used to wonder how we kept contact for so long. We had had our ups and downs but we overcame those to remain the best.


I had another friend whom I thought was my best friend. We were really close (or I thought so). Life was so easy being with her. We had almost everything in common. But something didn’t really click. Everything between us just shattered in one moment. I never understood the reason and still am unaware of that. Maybe it was my mistake. And I did apologize. But somehow I knew I was innocent. And that I had made friends with a green-eyed monster. At first I just thought she was going through a state of transition when she began keeping her distance from me. But then I understood it wasn’t a transition at all. She was never really close to me. I was just being fooled. I loved her more than my parents back then. But all I got back was just unemotional love. I didn’t try to (ever) open my eyes to that. But when I did open my eyes, it came as a crash. I couldn’t take the fact that she was just playing a ‘best friends’ game. I felt deceived. But I didn’t want to lose her. I kept making excuses for her indifference. To myself...


Those were the times when I thought life was much better without best friends. What was the point in having one which doesn’t care for you and lies to you right to your face? There was an instance when she lied to me and I caught her red-handed. She had her own reasons for everything. I kept my feelings to myself. It came to an explosion state when I decided to have a talk with her. But it wasn’t a big success. She just stood her ground. To her, friendship was nothing. I took a decision then. That I would never jump into another best-friends drama ever again. But it was a vain promise. I had many best friends after that. Some of which I still keep close to my heart. But I never forgot my experience with her. It had taught me a lesson. I was careful not to get too close with anyone. I never tried to maintain contact with her. But she made it a point to send me post cards every now and then. It always contained the same sentences. ‘I Love You. Forget-Me-Not.’ Every one of those cards made my heart sting. But she isn’t exactly a rare kind. I have met even worse. The thing I don’t seem to understand is, if these guys don’t care about friendship then why do they take the pain to make friends? It is pathetic. It is better to keep aloof from others rather than making friends and disgracing them.


I am friends with this particular girl who don’t give a damn about relations (relations in the sense, friendship). She was in a tough spot nearly 6 months ago. I spent a lot of time fretting about her well-being. But I wonder if she were in the same situation as I was, would she have cared about me? I am in a position now to say that she wouldn’t have. But this person is different from the one I earlier had. The first and foremost being she was raised to be self independent. She could never have true feelings for anyone except her family. She was very reserved. She kept a certain distance from everyone. But little did she realize that she was, in the process, hurting a lot of people. Her coldness meant little to me at first. But later as I got closer to her I began to feel the sheet of ice surrounding her. She was in a cocoon. Unreachable from everything else. It hurt me a lot at that time, to know that I gave my love to a person who gave me nothing in return. Around some time ago I thought its better to speak out my feelings for her rather than hiding them within me. That day we spoke a lot. What surprised me was that she was willing to listen to what I had to say. She was ready to rectify her mistakes. I was happy that she loved me as much as I loved as I loved her. But what future holds for us is, not known!!