SERENDIPITY

During the early days of my adolescence, my attraction for a particular guy was very intense. The so called attraction steadily kept climbing the boards until it reached a penultimate stage. When it didn’t provide me with the desired results (weekend hangouts with the dream boy, sneaking off to see each other in between hours, and soon), it began its steep fall downloads. As my ever-confusing adolescent years slowly passed, he was no more than a speck somewhere deep in my memory. I agree with those who say that one cannot forget their first love (or rather crush!). Hey I join the club whole heartedly.

It was on one of those ill fated days well into my 3rd year that I came to know that this guy (Yeah! The same one who stole my heart many years back!) is doing his degree at a well-known college near my place. Everything about him, every minute details came rushing back and I could feel my face burning. I began my frantic search for his mobile number. I was blessed (Ahem!) with his number by one of my dear friends studying at the same institution as he is.

That particular night I did it. I messaged him. I waited and waited to gain zero results. Hell! What a sort of guy is this?! I used to ask this question a lot to myself during those tense days waiting for his reply. But none came. As the impatient creature as I am, I lost my patience and decided to give him a call. Now you can imagine how desperate I was to hear from him! It was the 19th of February 2009.

19th Feb 2009

Finally, I talked to ‘him’. Well... it was nice. A real nice cozy chat which extended for nearly half an hour. I had his number with me for quite some time now. But I never wanted to call him. Partly because I dint know how he would react to my call and partly because I had never talked to him before (this was a fragile reason I know). Nevertheless today something was making me very reckless. I decided to call him at half past 7. I dialed his number in my cordless and waited with bated breath. Someone answered my call in the 3rd ring. I heard a “Hello?” The moment the HELLO reached my ears I knew it was him. My heart picked up speed. I somehow managed to reply one too. The next second, the ‘over-confident’ girl in me woke up. She said “I don’t know if you remember me….?” I was expecting a simple ‘No’ when the voice at the other end said, rather crossly, “How am I supposed to know who you are unless you told me?” To tell you the truth I never expected such a response. In fact my heart was beating so fast that I could barely hear him (as though it knew these were its final moments).

Me: Hey why do you sound so rude?

Him: Rude? No am not.

Me: Yes, you are!

Him: Oh! I understood who you are... (My heart took a crazy lurch just then!) Sajna,
right?

Me: (I didn't know what to say. My mouth was dry.) Yes. You recognized me. Cool.

Him: I knew it’s you the moment I heard you!

Me: (WOW!!!) Hmm… So how is life going on?

There began our friendship. We began to chat regularly. But he was very difficult (True!). He would talk to me one day very coolly and the very next day he would act aloof. This was a standard procedure of his that I finally began to get used to. After all, I like introvert guys. It was towards July of the same year that he started being really rude to me and started avoiding me all together. It was very difficult for me. I tried very hard, but in vain, to get him to talk but he wouldn’t open up. It was then I decided to let him go. Why hold onto someone who doesn’t give a heck about me? I kicked him out of my mind eventually, with quite some exertion.

Months passed by so quickly. My final year is finally coming to an end. I rarely thought of ‘him’ now. But alas! Something or the other always seems to be happening in my life.

19th Feb 2010

I was talking to my roommate when my cell beeped. Against my usual enthusiasm in checking my texts as soon as receive them, this time I barely noticed it. I was tired after a long day. Precisely at 10.30 pm, it beeped again. It finally got my attention and I peeked into my cell. Yes. It was him. Both the times. It was almost close to 7 months since we have had any sort of serious contact. I replied him with less enthusiasm because I couldn’t come up with any. It was his reply that confused me.

Him: Please forgive me for my past behavior. Please.

Well, WTF! This was an unexpected call. I didn’t know whether to kick his ass or to console him. I chose the latter because I decided to play the saint. His further replies only deepened my confusion. He was begging for my mercy and expected me to forgive his mistakes and accept him as a new person. Well… I didn’t have to think twice. I forgave him completely and I welcomed him back.

He said: “You will be my friend from now onwards.”

The glacier has started to melt at last! That was my hope, actually. But he resorted to his standard procedure again.

There was something that went unnoticed by me at first. It was my lucky number again: 19th. And it was none other than the 19th of February.

S-E-R-E-N-D-I-P-I-T-Y: The fortunate occurrence of events by chance!
Were the events fortunate or not, I am yet to decide!

Fear For Love!

The fear of losing you
Is eating me from inside
But I can’t help it
Not losing you
It was destined to be like this
I was destined to lose you
Again... All again!
But you were never mine
The past few years
When you came again
I wished to get you back
Again... Yet again!
Knowing it will be futile
But still... I wished
For you... Your presence
Your scent... And your touch
Which would bring pure bliss
To my soul as a whole!
I lost you for reasons
You believed against me
For I broke your trust
I know and I repent
Can I have another chance?