PAST:
27th April 2009
The last three days... It is keeping on happening to me... I have been having the same dream since the last three days... The same day broad light... Wails could be heard at regular intervals but they were subdued... People streaming all around me... But all the same, there was the same sense of peace of mind... My mind was calm... Though my lips were trembling... My heart rhythm was normal... Even though I was grieving I didn’t let it show...
I really have no idea of my purpose of being there in the middle of nowhere... But I guess it really wasn’t me… I don’t know who it was… I don’t know what to think… I could see three children in front of me… They looked so sad that my heart went out to them… But I was also in the same state of mind… I was also one among them…
The only problem was that I wasn’t sure whether they could see me!
PRESENT:
I was always an intuitive person. Things seemed to happen to me and somehow I always get the wind before-hand itself. I end up with a feeling of déjà-vu almost 98% of times. I keep asking myself whether I am psychic. Or in other words, Gifted? Hell… I really have no way of knowing the truth unless the God Almighty himself bestow upon me and show me the reality. I doubt whether I have the patience to wait till then! What the heck! I could use my Gift here.
My best friend’s mother was seriously ill at that period of time in the Past. Nevertheless, we were hopeful. Fucking hopeful. I sincerely believed his mother would live another 20 or 30 years. It was with unnerving clarity that I began having the aforementioned dreams. Each of the three nights, I woke up startled with the screams ringing hollowly in my ears. I have never felt so alone in my life. I somehow knew it was related to my friend’s mother. Well, don’t question how! Again, my Gift came into play. I wanted to confide the recurrence of the dreams with someone very badly. I seeked Anup’s help. He advised me not to breathe a word to Prashu (My best friend, of course!).
I heeded to his advice and kept silent for a few hours (that was the maximum I could do!). I rang Prashu up and related the whole matter to him. He was uncannily silent. I cursed myself. Again and Again.
Some days later, to be precise, a month later, his mother passed away. Everything was a blur in my mind in those days. Nothing really registered. He went to Haridwar to do the funeral obsequies. It was then everything became crystal clear in my mind’s eye. The place I saw in my dreams was Haridwar, the place where the River Ganga enters the Indo-Gangetic Plains of North India. Regarded as one of the seven holiest places to Hindus. Most of all, I feel the great need to mention the simple fact that, I have never been to this place. EVER. Still, I saw the lands and the structures which formed the place. Heard the wind. The noises. Am I really losing my marbles? No fucking idea! It was time to question my sanity.
Somehow, I believe, God was showing me Something. I hope he hadn’t. But, frankly, I have gotten used to these premonitions. They might end now. This minute. Or never. He alone knows!
PAST AGAIN:
My diary says…
N.B I hope to God that its nothing related to him. Please... I don’t want anything like that to happen now... I lost my peace of mind though my dream-self has it in abundance!
To Be Continued(Hopefully)…
Hallucinations turning into reality is "gifted" only to a few people...i seriously think u r 1 among them..i take whatever u said in its face value for the simple reason-i feel u have that virtue..but don't complicate it with anything and everything that u come across in life...that can have very serious consequences..anyway keep on updating such "not-so-frivolous" experiences with an open mind..
ReplyDeleteU r a gifted person! Really no doubt in it!!!!! Some times ur intuitions works very well na!!!!!!!!! feel happy for it!!!!! God gives these qualities to those angels who can face any situations phlegmatically!!!!! and u are one among it!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteEven though ur intuitions works very well, u r not confident of what it going to be happen. Beauty of life lies in the suspense of next moment!!!!!!!
Suspense works when there are doubts about the outcome. U dont have to feel sad for those intuitions which helps u to cope up with those situations!!!
But it is really harsh to have those feelings!!! I can Understand it!!!! Every one can understand that!!!!!
@ Anu
ReplyDeleteI keep my mind open for more of those, bro... :)
@ Manjith
ReplyDeleteJi... I find it hard to comprehend when I get one of those deja-vu feelings. I become nonplussed as what to think. I have faced real bad (even worse) situations where my room mates started to cower away from my words. They would stop me in the middle when am in one of those moods. They believed in the mantra 'whatever she said will definitely come true'. It took time and a lot of effort from my side to bring a change to that situation.
Kuta...ive read al ur posts so far...i neva knew u had such an event-filled life...im really happy 4 d gud tyms ud gone thru n really sad 4 d bad tyms as well...
ReplyDeleteBut as the saying goes..."ALLS WELL THAT ENDS WELL"...
Ur lyf myt hv taken sum somersaults at certain tyms but remember that life is not 2 b cried over but to exult over...so do cherish the best moments u had n learn frm the bad/sad experiences u went through about the reality Life poses...
NOTE:
I neva knew u had such a flair for writing...u cud go on to become a gud writer in the future..:):)
@ Shon
ReplyDeleteThose words were sure encouraging. :)
First of all, congrats to you that you are posting more often than usual. Good. :)
ReplyDeleteYes, i remember you calling me up and telling me your worries..I still remember myself picturing it as you were narrating it to me. And again today, just as i read this post, the whole all white-clad crowd and the voices came to my mind.
It brought me a chill an year before when the event actually occurred and now again...
Keep writing..
@ Anup
ReplyDeleteAnu... You are one of my most reliable assets. :) Hope you got what I meant.