I know. I know. I KNOW. It’s been so long since I posted anything. Hey I have a valid reason yaar. I didn’t have access to a laptop (neither a desktop in that case). And in those times when I went to a café, it was purely for study-related matters. For those of you who don’t know, I am currently doing my PG in MBA from Institute For Technology & Management, Navi Mumbai. And yeah… I got my laptop today. I promise I will keep you engaged. Thank you for the support, guys.
Do read and comment on my new post below.
Friday, September 3, 2010
My Journey To The 'Sixth' Floor
It was not just another usual day. It was one of those f***ing days with a double exam looming over my head. My head was fuming because of the ‘formulae-one’ racing in my head (the first exam being ‘Mathematics’). It was almost 8 in the morning and I along with my flat mates (every one except for Priyanka, she was skipping the whole tiring process of breakfast) almost ran to the mess hall. "Oooh………" That was the collective response from every one of us seeing the menu for breakfast. It was Pav-Bhaji (Well… Even though it tasted good in the initial days, now I am quite bored of all these… No offense, but I really want some good South Indian food!).
Now to continue with my story, the bhaji was also fuming at us (Hell… Give us a break!). I somehow managed to gulp down two pieces of pav and was leaving the hall for the 8.20 a.m. bus to the college (we have shuttle service of bus to and from the college, you see), when I remembered I hadn’t taken my library text which was to be returned that God-Forbidden day. It was already 8.19 a.m. as per my watch. I decided to return it the next day and casually asked Anamika (my flat mate) the fine for late return. She replied ‘I think its 5 per day!’ “FIVE??!” At that moment I didn’t feel like wasting my golden five rupee coin for NOTHING. I ran back to take the elevator to my floor, which was the ‘6th’.
Usually (Again!), there were two lifts. But that specific day, one of them decided to take a ‘break’. So my only option was to wait for the only lift which had taken up the extra load for I wasn’t ready to climb a dozen fleet of stairs (Please!). I pressed the indicator button and waited quite patiently (Grr...). It finally sputtered in front of me and opened its doors. Thank you savior! I jumped right in and pressed the button to my floor, hoping all the while no one else would press the button along my journey to the sixth floor.
After what seemed like hours, it came to a stop. As soon as I got out, I saw the door to my flat wide open. I ran in. I stopped in midst to my room to check the geyser mains (we were to switch off the mains of the geyser every day before we leave), but the goddamn lid of the mains was not coming loose. I fought with it for a moment, thinking all the while it hadn’t had any problem in the morning. I cursed the mains quite violently and ran off to Priyanka’s room screaming for her “Priyaaaaaaaaaa….!” And stopped in short. There was no Priyanka. Instead there were three unfamiliar faces staring at me.
I could feel my mouth gaping open. What The HELL!
I asked them: Where is Priyanka?
All three of them: Which Priyanka? There is no Priyanka here!
I thought I had some problem with my hearing or was it my brain playing tricks on me? No way! It was too exhausted even to think properly. In short, I was totally confused.
I gathered my muddled wits and shot back: What are you girls doing in my flat?
They seemed taken aback. Slowly they looked at each other and said in unison: Whose flat, did you say?
There! I could feel something clicking back into position slowly inside my head.
I asked in a small voice: Hmm… Ermm… This is….???
I left the sentence open for them. Hey come and fill up the blank, girls. Don’t just stand there looking at me as if am crackbrained. I knew the answer before they opened their mouths (Not exactly. Though I knew I was in the wrong flat and on the wrong floor!).
One of them answered: This is 42!
Oops… Mine was 62!!! In my haste, I had accidentally pressed the 4th floor button and had ended up myself in a mess (It was a mess… At least for me!).
I managed to mumble an apology and shot off from the flat. And jumped straight into the lift which was thankfully on the right floor at the right time. As I sat down on my seat in the bus (At last!), I checked the time. It was only (NOTE WELL… ONLY!!) 8.21 a.m. It seemed every embarrassing moment happened in a matter of a few seconds but leaved a lifelong impression in our minds. If only… Those two minutes hadn’t happened. If only… I had taken my book without fail. If only…
Sunday, June 20, 2010
The Shadows Speak!
PAST:
27th April 2009
The last three days... It is keeping on happening to me... I have been having the same dream since the last three days... The same day broad light... Wails could be heard at regular intervals but they were subdued... People streaming all around me... But all the same, there was the same sense of peace of mind... My mind was calm... Though my lips were trembling... My heart rhythm was normal... Even though I was grieving I didn’t let it show...
I really have no idea of my purpose of being there in the middle of nowhere... But I guess it really wasn’t me… I don’t know who it was… I don’t know what to think… I could see three children in front of me… They looked so sad that my heart went out to them… But I was also in the same state of mind… I was also one among them…
The only problem was that I wasn’t sure whether they could see me!
PRESENT:
I was always an intuitive person. Things seemed to happen to me and somehow I always get the wind before-hand itself. I end up with a feeling of déjà-vu almost 98% of times. I keep asking myself whether I am psychic. Or in other words, Gifted? Hell… I really have no way of knowing the truth unless the God Almighty himself bestow upon me and show me the reality. I doubt whether I have the patience to wait till then! What the heck! I could use my Gift here.
My best friend’s mother was seriously ill at that period of time in the Past. Nevertheless, we were hopeful. Fucking hopeful. I sincerely believed his mother would live another 20 or 30 years. It was with unnerving clarity that I began having the aforementioned dreams. Each of the three nights, I woke up startled with the screams ringing hollowly in my ears. I have never felt so alone in my life. I somehow knew it was related to my friend’s mother. Well, don’t question how! Again, my Gift came into play. I wanted to confide the recurrence of the dreams with someone very badly. I seeked Anup’s help. He advised me not to breathe a word to Prashu (My best friend, of course!).
I heeded to his advice and kept silent for a few hours (that was the maximum I could do!). I rang Prashu up and related the whole matter to him. He was uncannily silent. I cursed myself. Again and Again.
Some days later, to be precise, a month later, his mother passed away. Everything was a blur in my mind in those days. Nothing really registered. He went to Haridwar to do the funeral obsequies. It was then everything became crystal clear in my mind’s eye. The place I saw in my dreams was Haridwar, the place where the River Ganga enters the Indo-Gangetic Plains of North India. Regarded as one of the seven holiest places to Hindus. Most of all, I feel the great need to mention the simple fact that, I have never been to this place. EVER. Still, I saw the lands and the structures which formed the place. Heard the wind. The noises. Am I really losing my marbles? No fucking idea! It was time to question my sanity.
Somehow, I believe, God was showing me Something. I hope he hadn’t. But, frankly, I have gotten used to these premonitions. They might end now. This minute. Or never. He alone knows!
PAST AGAIN:
My diary says…
N.B I hope to God that its nothing related to him. Please... I don’t want anything like that to happen now... I lost my peace of mind though my dream-self has it in abundance!
To Be Continued(Hopefully)…
27th April 2009
The last three days... It is keeping on happening to me... I have been having the same dream since the last three days... The same day broad light... Wails could be heard at regular intervals but they were subdued... People streaming all around me... But all the same, there was the same sense of peace of mind... My mind was calm... Though my lips were trembling... My heart rhythm was normal... Even though I was grieving I didn’t let it show...
I really have no idea of my purpose of being there in the middle of nowhere... But I guess it really wasn’t me… I don’t know who it was… I don’t know what to think… I could see three children in front of me… They looked so sad that my heart went out to them… But I was also in the same state of mind… I was also one among them…
The only problem was that I wasn’t sure whether they could see me!
PRESENT:
I was always an intuitive person. Things seemed to happen to me and somehow I always get the wind before-hand itself. I end up with a feeling of déjà-vu almost 98% of times. I keep asking myself whether I am psychic. Or in other words, Gifted? Hell… I really have no way of knowing the truth unless the God Almighty himself bestow upon me and show me the reality. I doubt whether I have the patience to wait till then! What the heck! I could use my Gift here.
My best friend’s mother was seriously ill at that period of time in the Past. Nevertheless, we were hopeful. Fucking hopeful. I sincerely believed his mother would live another 20 or 30 years. It was with unnerving clarity that I began having the aforementioned dreams. Each of the three nights, I woke up startled with the screams ringing hollowly in my ears. I have never felt so alone in my life. I somehow knew it was related to my friend’s mother. Well, don’t question how! Again, my Gift came into play. I wanted to confide the recurrence of the dreams with someone very badly. I seeked Anup’s help. He advised me not to breathe a word to Prashu (My best friend, of course!).
I heeded to his advice and kept silent for a few hours (that was the maximum I could do!). I rang Prashu up and related the whole matter to him. He was uncannily silent. I cursed myself. Again and Again.
Some days later, to be precise, a month later, his mother passed away. Everything was a blur in my mind in those days. Nothing really registered. He went to Haridwar to do the funeral obsequies. It was then everything became crystal clear in my mind’s eye. The place I saw in my dreams was Haridwar, the place where the River Ganga enters the Indo-Gangetic Plains of North India. Regarded as one of the seven holiest places to Hindus. Most of all, I feel the great need to mention the simple fact that, I have never been to this place. EVER. Still, I saw the lands and the structures which formed the place. Heard the wind. The noises. Am I really losing my marbles? No fucking idea! It was time to question my sanity.
Somehow, I believe, God was showing me Something. I hope he hadn’t. But, frankly, I have gotten used to these premonitions. They might end now. This minute. Or never. He alone knows!
PAST AGAIN:
My diary says…
N.B I hope to God that its nothing related to him. Please... I don’t want anything like that to happen now... I lost my peace of mind though my dream-self has it in abundance!
To Be Continued(Hopefully)…
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Finally...
Finally, my BTech life is over (hopefully!). The last four years were fun. Of course, there were times of uncertainty too. Which came in the form of ‘unwanted’ semester exams and all the more useless series exams. I still remember the day I first entered my hostel. Its still fresh in my memory. But the past four years flew by me. Of course, there is a load of memories waiting to get sorted in my mind. The things that have happened at the college... At the hostel… On the roads… Nothing can erase them, really. The first year passed by me rather slowly. The main events that occurred during this period was ‘getting to know him/her’. I was rather quiet and withdrawn (the exact opposite of my usual self!). The hostel life was altogether a new experience for me. Living among strangers was not exactly my idea of fun.
As the course progressed into its second year, I became acquainted with a majority of my classmates. My room mates were fun to be with. During the leisure time we had had at our hostel (which constituted the time from 8.00 pm to 9.30 pm), the eight of us in my room got together and used to talk about almost everything under the sun. The topics for discussion were never sparse. I can never really forget the time of study leave right before the exams. Except for the really painful job of writing the exams, the rest of the study time remained eventful. It was during this time that we really got into the ‘active’ stage.
The first few semester exams (we had a long line of 7 semester exams of 8 exams each!) were taken seriously and everyone tried to study and cover maximum portions as possible. By the time we got to the 8th semester exams, no one (no more) tried to waste much time in studies. It was a rather well-known fact that it is purely luck that guides us through the evaluation. The Kerala University was very keen on putting us through the worst conditions (even worse for the next batch of students to come, surely!) possible thereby making us viable to any situations.
As I look back, I can see the paths I have woven my life through. There were a lot of mistakes done. But more than the mistakes, I was myself these four years. I was home. As much as I loved my hostel life, we eight didn’t keep any outside contacts. We mostly kept to ourselves. We never bothered to talk to even the next door neighbors. They remained strangers all throughout the years. As I climbed the slope from the hostel to the main road on one of these final days, a few of my next room girls passed by me. As soon as they saw me, they started talking to me. I was dumb founded. As I bade them goodbye and moved on, l realized there were more things that I am going to miss. Even the ‘strangers’.
Everything has come to an end. The things left unfinished remain as such. Now, memories... They are all what I have got to carry myself onto the next path. God alone knows what awaits me there…
As the course progressed into its second year, I became acquainted with a majority of my classmates. My room mates were fun to be with. During the leisure time we had had at our hostel (which constituted the time from 8.00 pm to 9.30 pm), the eight of us in my room got together and used to talk about almost everything under the sun. The topics for discussion were never sparse. I can never really forget the time of study leave right before the exams. Except for the really painful job of writing the exams, the rest of the study time remained eventful. It was during this time that we really got into the ‘active’ stage.
The first few semester exams (we had a long line of 7 semester exams of 8 exams each!) were taken seriously and everyone tried to study and cover maximum portions as possible. By the time we got to the 8th semester exams, no one (no more) tried to waste much time in studies. It was a rather well-known fact that it is purely luck that guides us through the evaluation. The Kerala University was very keen on putting us through the worst conditions (even worse for the next batch of students to come, surely!) possible thereby making us viable to any situations.
As I look back, I can see the paths I have woven my life through. There were a lot of mistakes done. But more than the mistakes, I was myself these four years. I was home. As much as I loved my hostel life, we eight didn’t keep any outside contacts. We mostly kept to ourselves. We never bothered to talk to even the next door neighbors. They remained strangers all throughout the years. As I climbed the slope from the hostel to the main road on one of these final days, a few of my next room girls passed by me. As soon as they saw me, they started talking to me. I was dumb founded. As I bade them goodbye and moved on, l realized there were more things that I am going to miss. Even the ‘strangers’.
Everything has come to an end. The things left unfinished remain as such. Now, memories... They are all what I have got to carry myself onto the next path. God alone knows what awaits me there…
The things we did, the things we said
Keep coming back to me and make me smile again
You showed me how to face the truth
Everything that's good in me I owe to you!
Though the distance that's between us
Now may seem to be too far
It will never seperate us
Deep inside I know you are
Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are!
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've gotta say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
നീര്മിഴികള്
അകലുവാന് ആശിച്ച നിമിഷത്തെ
ശപിക്കുന്നു ഞാനിപ്പോഴും - കഴിഞ്ഞില്ല
നിന്നെ മറക്കുവാന് എനിക്ക് - ഉടച്ചു
കളയുവാന് നിന്നോര്മകളെ!
കാരണങ്ങള് ഒരു കടലായ് ഒഴുകി
എന്നുള്ളില് നിന്നെ അകറ്റുവാന് - ഒരു
പക്ഷെ - അതെന് വിധിയാകാം, നിന്നെ
ഞാന് ഇപ്പോഴും പ്രണയിക്കുന്നു.
പ്രണയം ഒരു തീക്കനല് ആണെന്നറിഞ്ഞ
നിമിഷം വൈകിപ്പോയിരുന്നു - എന്നിരു
നാലും - കൈവിട്ടു പോയ നിന്നെ
തിരയാന് ഞാന് തുനിഞ്ഞില്ല.
എന് മിഴികള് നനയുന്നു - തുടയ്ക്കാന്
കഴിയുന്നില്ല - തിരമാലകളെക്കാള് ശക്ത
മായ് ഒഴുകുന്നുവെന് അശ്രുകണങ്ങള്
വരില്ലയോ നീ തിരികെ - സാന്ത്വനമേകാന്?
കാത്തിരിയ്ക്കുന്നു ഇപ്പോഴും ഞാന് നിന്നെ
ആശ്വാസമേകാന് വരില്ലയെന്നറിഞ്ഞിട്ടും
ഒരു നോക്ക് കാണാന് - ഒന്നു തലോടാന്
എന് നീര്മിഴികളെ തുടയ്ക്കാന്!
Well... This is my first attempt at a malayalam post. One of my favorite poems and this was written on 09.10.09. I don't know what prompted me to write it but all I know is I was feeling very depressed that particular night. Dedicated to all those who are waiting for their lost loved ones...
ശപിക്കുന്നു ഞാനിപ്പോഴും - കഴിഞ്ഞില്ല
നിന്നെ മറക്കുവാന് എനിക്ക് - ഉടച്ചു
കളയുവാന് നിന്നോര്മകളെ!
കാരണങ്ങള് ഒരു കടലായ് ഒഴുകി
എന്നുള്ളില് നിന്നെ അകറ്റുവാന് - ഒരു
പക്ഷെ - അതെന് വിധിയാകാം, നിന്നെ
ഞാന് ഇപ്പോഴും പ്രണയിക്കുന്നു.
പ്രണയം ഒരു തീക്കനല് ആണെന്നറിഞ്ഞ
നിമിഷം വൈകിപ്പോയിരുന്നു - എന്നിരു
നാലും - കൈവിട്ടു പോയ നിന്നെ
തിരയാന് ഞാന് തുനിഞ്ഞില്ല.
എന് മിഴികള് നനയുന്നു - തുടയ്ക്കാന്
കഴിയുന്നില്ല - തിരമാലകളെക്കാള് ശക്ത
മായ് ഒഴുകുന്നുവെന് അശ്രുകണങ്ങള്
വരില്ലയോ നീ തിരികെ - സാന്ത്വനമേകാന്?
കാത്തിരിയ്ക്കുന്നു ഇപ്പോഴും ഞാന് നിന്നെ
ആശ്വാസമേകാന് വരില്ലയെന്നറിഞ്ഞിട്ടും
ഒരു നോക്ക് കാണാന് - ഒന്നു തലോടാന്
എന് നീര്മിഴികളെ തുടയ്ക്കാന്!
Well... This is my first attempt at a malayalam post. One of my favorite poems and this was written on 09.10.09. I don't know what prompted me to write it but all I know is I was feeling very depressed that particular night. Dedicated to all those who are waiting for their lost loved ones...
Monday, March 22, 2010
THE ‘DEMO’ DAY
21st March 2010, Sunday
My college life is about to come to an end. My roommates and I were quite sure that of all the people we were the ones who are going to miss college life the most. Mainly because of the depth in our relationships which was a result of close proximity to each other 24 hours a day. All that is left to us in our college: A Week. It was almost 830 in the night when one of us came up with the idea of celebrating the demo day on the very next day. Without further ado, we began our work. The first step was to message everyone in the class and let them know of our plan. The message read:
“Demo week starts…
Tomorrow is ‘pandi’ day. Please wear contrasting colored dress (Ladies: Differently colored top, bottom and shawl. Pick some flowers or ribbon also. Gents: Pandi color shirt and informal pants or ‘mundu’). Please forward to all. “
22nd March 2010, Monday
The final week of our college life began. I woke up precisely at 7.27 am. I was shocked. The mess bell rings at 7.30 am and I haven’t even brushed. To my utter dismay (and relief), I saw the beds next to me were also occupied (Rasmi and Lakshmi were in a sound sleep). I shook both of them and mumbled “7.30!” By 8.15 am, all six of us in our room filled back into our after the hefty breakfast and frantically started our work.
The work consisted mainly of selecting ultra-kuthara combination of churidar pieces. All of us opened our bags and began pulling out contrasting colored pieces of dress materials. The favorite pick of the day was a combination of bright yellow and red. Everyone was holding onto a number of materials and no one had any idea what exactly to do. The first successful pair of the day came from Deepa. She chose a yellow top, blue bottom and red shawl. In all the hustle and bustle, we didn’t know the clock running fast towards the deadline of 9.00am (The time our class begins!).
Still a large number among us were unsure of what to wear. After trying out a number of tops, I decided on a maroon top of mine in the end with a ‘matching’ blue bottom (which came from Rasmi) and a fluorescent green shawl (Preetha’s). All of us were attired and then it was the time for makeup. I produced a large box of bangles from my cupboard (which was deeply buried among a pile of debris!). Nonetheless, everyone had a field day choosing the right combinations of bangles to go with our dress. We tied our hair on both sides of our head to add to the comic effect. It was then Ranju came up with the nose ring. Surprisingly, it added effect to her pandi looks and she almost resembled one.
By 9.30 am, we reached college (Luckily enough the college is just a short walk from our hostel). Most of us were embarrassed by the time we reached the gates of the college. As we entered the class room we could feel almost everyone’s eyes on us. We were quite a sight, to be frank! We were very confident by the time we took our seats that we resembled street singers. But I was level headed enough to notice that we were the only ones in the whole class (the WHOLE fucking class!) in the Demo wear. The only exception was Darsu who imitated our doings almost 90 percent of the time. Thanks to her. We had at least one day scholar to hide our disappointment.
Shortly after we were joined by six more of the girls and we decided to give it a shot in the lunch break hour. Many of the guys came to hold ‘talks’ with us with an excuse of ‘no suitable dress’ and tried to discourage us from the sacred act of celebrating the demo. None of us wavered from our decision. It was almost close to 1.00 pm when we started our ‘show’. We visited three junior classes and shouted at the top of our voice “S8 IT Ki... Jay!” We were on our way to our fourth class when I was summoned by a junior of mine. I thought, WTF! He started his boasting manner of speech (which lacked any manner, of course!) by saying we were doing a great sin of destroying the unity of our class by celebrating demo all by ourselves.
Well, for a moment I thought, Is this idiot my junior or am I HIS junior? He blabbered about all incoherent things for misleading us from our track. I was angry enough to snap his neck. If none of the other guys in the class could support us, why the fuck should we wait for them? To the hell with all the unity! It was then another girl among us intervened and solved the dispute by compromising the situation. We put a stop to getting into the classes and satisfied ourselves by posing for photos all around the college.
But to the six of us (my roommates and me), it was one hell of a day, with the right combination of fun and thrills. No one would ever taste the sweetness of the joy we shared in our dormitory. It will never ever fade from our minds. The others may or may not celebrate the Demo tomorrow or yet another day. But I am quite sure they would not even enjoy the “De” of the “Demo”!
My college life is about to come to an end. My roommates and I were quite sure that of all the people we were the ones who are going to miss college life the most. Mainly because of the depth in our relationships which was a result of close proximity to each other 24 hours a day. All that is left to us in our college: A Week. It was almost 830 in the night when one of us came up with the idea of celebrating the demo day on the very next day. Without further ado, we began our work. The first step was to message everyone in the class and let them know of our plan. The message read:
“Demo week starts…
Tomorrow is ‘pandi’ day. Please wear contrasting colored dress (Ladies: Differently colored top, bottom and shawl. Pick some flowers or ribbon also. Gents: Pandi color shirt and informal pants or ‘mundu’). Please forward to all. “
22nd March 2010, Monday
The final week of our college life began. I woke up precisely at 7.27 am. I was shocked. The mess bell rings at 7.30 am and I haven’t even brushed. To my utter dismay (and relief), I saw the beds next to me were also occupied (Rasmi and Lakshmi were in a sound sleep). I shook both of them and mumbled “7.30!” By 8.15 am, all six of us in our room filled back into our after the hefty breakfast and frantically started our work.
The work consisted mainly of selecting ultra-kuthara combination of churidar pieces. All of us opened our bags and began pulling out contrasting colored pieces of dress materials. The favorite pick of the day was a combination of bright yellow and red. Everyone was holding onto a number of materials and no one had any idea what exactly to do. The first successful pair of the day came from Deepa. She chose a yellow top, blue bottom and red shawl. In all the hustle and bustle, we didn’t know the clock running fast towards the deadline of 9.00am (The time our class begins!).
Still a large number among us were unsure of what to wear. After trying out a number of tops, I decided on a maroon top of mine in the end with a ‘matching’ blue bottom (which came from Rasmi) and a fluorescent green shawl (Preetha’s). All of us were attired and then it was the time for makeup. I produced a large box of bangles from my cupboard (which was deeply buried among a pile of debris!). Nonetheless, everyone had a field day choosing the right combinations of bangles to go with our dress. We tied our hair on both sides of our head to add to the comic effect. It was then Ranju came up with the nose ring. Surprisingly, it added effect to her pandi looks and she almost resembled one.
By 9.30 am, we reached college (Luckily enough the college is just a short walk from our hostel). Most of us were embarrassed by the time we reached the gates of the college. As we entered the class room we could feel almost everyone’s eyes on us. We were quite a sight, to be frank! We were very confident by the time we took our seats that we resembled street singers. But I was level headed enough to notice that we were the only ones in the whole class (the WHOLE fucking class!) in the Demo wear. The only exception was Darsu who imitated our doings almost 90 percent of the time. Thanks to her. We had at least one day scholar to hide our disappointment.
Shortly after we were joined by six more of the girls and we decided to give it a shot in the lunch break hour. Many of the guys came to hold ‘talks’ with us with an excuse of ‘no suitable dress’ and tried to discourage us from the sacred act of celebrating the demo. None of us wavered from our decision. It was almost close to 1.00 pm when we started our ‘show’. We visited three junior classes and shouted at the top of our voice “S8 IT Ki... Jay!” We were on our way to our fourth class when I was summoned by a junior of mine. I thought, WTF! He started his boasting manner of speech (which lacked any manner, of course!) by saying we were doing a great sin of destroying the unity of our class by celebrating demo all by ourselves.
Well, for a moment I thought, Is this idiot my junior or am I HIS junior? He blabbered about all incoherent things for misleading us from our track. I was angry enough to snap his neck. If none of the other guys in the class could support us, why the fuck should we wait for them? To the hell with all the unity! It was then another girl among us intervened and solved the dispute by compromising the situation. We put a stop to getting into the classes and satisfied ourselves by posing for photos all around the college.
But to the six of us (my roommates and me), it was one hell of a day, with the right combination of fun and thrills. No one would ever taste the sweetness of the joy we shared in our dormitory. It will never ever fade from our minds. The others may or may not celebrate the Demo tomorrow or yet another day. But I am quite sure they would not even enjoy the “De” of the “Demo”!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
SERENDIPITY
During the early days of my adolescence, my attraction for a particular guy was very intense. The so called attraction steadily kept climbing the boards until it reached a penultimate stage. When it didn’t provide me with the desired results (weekend hangouts with the dream boy, sneaking off to see each other in between hours, and soon), it began its steep fall downloads. As my ever-confusing adolescent years slowly passed, he was no more than a speck somewhere deep in my memory. I agree with those who say that one cannot forget their first love (or rather crush!). Hey I join the club whole heartedly.
It was on one of those ill fated days well into my 3rd year that I came to know that this guy (Yeah! The same one who stole my heart many years back!) is doing his degree at a well-known college near my place. Everything about him, every minute details came rushing back and I could feel my face burning. I began my frantic search for his mobile number. I was blessed (Ahem!) with his number by one of my dear friends studying at the same institution as he is.
That particular night I did it. I messaged him. I waited and waited to gain zero results. Hell! What a sort of guy is this?! I used to ask this question a lot to myself during those tense days waiting for his reply. But none came. As the impatient creature as I am, I lost my patience and decided to give him a call. Now you can imagine how desperate I was to hear from him! It was the 19th of February 2009.
19th Feb 2009
Finally, I talked to ‘him’. Well... it was nice. A real nice cozy chat which extended for nearly half an hour. I had his number with me for quite some time now. But I never wanted to call him. Partly because I dint know how he would react to my call and partly because I had never talked to him before (this was a fragile reason I know). Nevertheless today something was making me very reckless. I decided to call him at half past 7. I dialed his number in my cordless and waited with bated breath. Someone answered my call in the 3rd ring. I heard a “Hello?” The moment the HELLO reached my ears I knew it was him. My heart picked up speed. I somehow managed to reply one too. The next second, the ‘over-confident’ girl in me woke up. She said “I don’t know if you remember me….?” I was expecting a simple ‘No’ when the voice at the other end said, rather crossly, “How am I supposed to know who you are unless you told me?” To tell you the truth I never expected such a response. In fact my heart was beating so fast that I could barely hear him (as though it knew these were its final moments).
Me: Hey why do you sound so rude?
Him: Rude? No am not.
Me: Yes, you are!
Him: Oh! I understood who you are... (My heart took a crazy lurch just then!) Sajna,
right?
Me: (I didn't know what to say. My mouth was dry.) Yes. You recognized me. Cool.
Him: I knew it’s you the moment I heard you!
Me: (WOW!!!) Hmm… So how is life going on?
There began our friendship. We began to chat regularly. But he was very difficult (True!). He would talk to me one day very coolly and the very next day he would act aloof. This was a standard procedure of his that I finally began to get used to. After all, I like introvert guys. It was towards July of the same year that he started being really rude to me and started avoiding me all together. It was very difficult for me. I tried very hard, but in vain, to get him to talk but he wouldn’t open up. It was then I decided to let him go. Why hold onto someone who doesn’t give a heck about me? I kicked him out of my mind eventually, with quite some exertion.
Months passed by so quickly. My final year is finally coming to an end. I rarely thought of ‘him’ now. But alas! Something or the other always seems to be happening in my life.
19th Feb 2010
I was talking to my roommate when my cell beeped. Against my usual enthusiasm in checking my texts as soon as receive them, this time I barely noticed it. I was tired after a long day. Precisely at 10.30 pm, it beeped again. It finally got my attention and I peeked into my cell. Yes. It was him. Both the times. It was almost close to 7 months since we have had any sort of serious contact. I replied him with less enthusiasm because I couldn’t come up with any. It was his reply that confused me.
Him: Please forgive me for my past behavior. Please.
Well, WTF! This was an unexpected call. I didn’t know whether to kick his ass or to console him. I chose the latter because I decided to play the saint. His further replies only deepened my confusion. He was begging for my mercy and expected me to forgive his mistakes and accept him as a new person. Well… I didn’t have to think twice. I forgave him completely and I welcomed him back.
He said: “You will be my friend from now onwards.”
The glacier has started to melt at last! That was my hope, actually. But he resorted to his standard procedure again.
There was something that went unnoticed by me at first. It was my lucky number again: 19th. And it was none other than the 19th of February.
S-E-R-E-N-D-I-P-I-T-Y: The fortunate occurrence of events by chance!
Were the events fortunate or not, I am yet to decide!
It was on one of those ill fated days well into my 3rd year that I came to know that this guy (Yeah! The same one who stole my heart many years back!) is doing his degree at a well-known college near my place. Everything about him, every minute details came rushing back and I could feel my face burning. I began my frantic search for his mobile number. I was blessed (Ahem!) with his number by one of my dear friends studying at the same institution as he is.
That particular night I did it. I messaged him. I waited and waited to gain zero results. Hell! What a sort of guy is this?! I used to ask this question a lot to myself during those tense days waiting for his reply. But none came. As the impatient creature as I am, I lost my patience and decided to give him a call. Now you can imagine how desperate I was to hear from him! It was the 19th of February 2009.
19th Feb 2009
Finally, I talked to ‘him’. Well... it was nice. A real nice cozy chat which extended for nearly half an hour. I had his number with me for quite some time now. But I never wanted to call him. Partly because I dint know how he would react to my call and partly because I had never talked to him before (this was a fragile reason I know). Nevertheless today something was making me very reckless. I decided to call him at half past 7. I dialed his number in my cordless and waited with bated breath. Someone answered my call in the 3rd ring. I heard a “Hello?” The moment the HELLO reached my ears I knew it was him. My heart picked up speed. I somehow managed to reply one too. The next second, the ‘over-confident’ girl in me woke up. She said “I don’t know if you remember me….?” I was expecting a simple ‘No’ when the voice at the other end said, rather crossly, “How am I supposed to know who you are unless you told me?” To tell you the truth I never expected such a response. In fact my heart was beating so fast that I could barely hear him (as though it knew these were its final moments).
Me: Hey why do you sound so rude?
Him: Rude? No am not.
Me: Yes, you are!
Him: Oh! I understood who you are... (My heart took a crazy lurch just then!) Sajna,
right?
Me: (I didn't know what to say. My mouth was dry.) Yes. You recognized me. Cool.
Him: I knew it’s you the moment I heard you!
Me: (WOW!!!) Hmm… So how is life going on?
There began our friendship. We began to chat regularly. But he was very difficult (True!). He would talk to me one day very coolly and the very next day he would act aloof. This was a standard procedure of his that I finally began to get used to. After all, I like introvert guys. It was towards July of the same year that he started being really rude to me and started avoiding me all together. It was very difficult for me. I tried very hard, but in vain, to get him to talk but he wouldn’t open up. It was then I decided to let him go. Why hold onto someone who doesn’t give a heck about me? I kicked him out of my mind eventually, with quite some exertion.
Months passed by so quickly. My final year is finally coming to an end. I rarely thought of ‘him’ now. But alas! Something or the other always seems to be happening in my life.
19th Feb 2010
I was talking to my roommate when my cell beeped. Against my usual enthusiasm in checking my texts as soon as receive them, this time I barely noticed it. I was tired after a long day. Precisely at 10.30 pm, it beeped again. It finally got my attention and I peeked into my cell. Yes. It was him. Both the times. It was almost close to 7 months since we have had any sort of serious contact. I replied him with less enthusiasm because I couldn’t come up with any. It was his reply that confused me.
Him: Please forgive me for my past behavior. Please.
Well, WTF! This was an unexpected call. I didn’t know whether to kick his ass or to console him. I chose the latter because I decided to play the saint. His further replies only deepened my confusion. He was begging for my mercy and expected me to forgive his mistakes and accept him as a new person. Well… I didn’t have to think twice. I forgave him completely and I welcomed him back.
He said: “You will be my friend from now onwards.”
The glacier has started to melt at last! That was my hope, actually. But he resorted to his standard procedure again.
There was something that went unnoticed by me at first. It was my lucky number again: 19th. And it was none other than the 19th of February.
S-E-R-E-N-D-I-P-I-T-Y: The fortunate occurrence of events by chance!
Were the events fortunate or not, I am yet to decide!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Fear For Love!
The fear of losing you
Is eating me from inside
But I can’t help it
Not losing you
It was destined to be like this
I was destined to lose you
Again... All again!
But you were never mine
The past few years
When you came again
I wished to get you back
Again... Yet again!
Knowing it will be futile
But still... I wished
For you... Your presence
Your scent... And your touch
Which would bring pure bliss
To my soul as a whole!
I lost you for reasons
You believed against me
For I broke your trust
I know and I repent
Can I have another chance?
Is eating me from inside
But I can’t help it
Not losing you
It was destined to be like this
I was destined to lose you
Again... All again!
But you were never mine
The past few years
When you came again
I wished to get you back
Again... Yet again!
Knowing it will be futile
But still... I wished
For you... Your presence
Your scent... And your touch
Which would bring pure bliss
To my soul as a whole!
I lost you for reasons
You believed against me
For I broke your trust
I know and I repent
Can I have another chance?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)